week 3

it's more than halfway through week 3, and things are getting different. or is it just me? I have to start prioritizing the events and activities around me and it feels bad to have to let some things go. at times, I doubt my decisions. at times, things are clear; at times, I regret the choices made. at times, I stand firm.

obviously, securing the scholarship is of top priority and that means I have to put in serious effort (that comes with time) in to studying. for the clubs, societies and activities, I've placed ODAC/trek on top of TKD and Wushu. I hope to attain a 2nd Dan in TKD within the stay in NTU. so most probably I'll drop wushu even though wushu seem more interesting (and seemingly less xiong than TKD) and would give me greater exposure to martial arts as a whole.

now hall. Hall III is indeed a very very happening hall. less than a month ago, there was the NTU joint hall bash. and tonight, Hall III is holding one itself. and I just miss both of them. interblock games has already started this Monday and it will last for at least 2 weeks. after which, I suppose they will start training for inter-hall games. I'll stand with my decision to stay in hall for no further than this sem (at least in the short term). I suppose I'll miss out a lot on hall. but staying in hall was something that I didn't expect or intend to. this short stay was just to have fun and know more people.

I wonder...
how you feel about this.
what your fears are.
if you know who 'you' is.
if I'm pushing too fast too far.
if you know what I mean...

2 weeks of school

been busy and drained for the past 5 weeks - 3 weeks of camps and 2 weeks of school. I've uploaded the photos for the first 2 camps, namely, F.O.O.T.(ODAC) and NYS camp to my facebook and my webshot accounts.


the camps has been fun and memorable. new friends found and new experiences. I feel that F.O.O.T. was the best of them all because the activities were more enriching and meaningful. it was so good that I bought myself a 75litre haversack after that. ready to go trekking any time. NYS camp was short(3days) but very fun as well. and more importantly...hmmm...I'll leave this for another day. Hall 3 FOC lasted for 6days. the amazing race was a great experience and of course the fav activity for Chor Yen-the-glut is the food-hunt at Geylang.

school started 4th Aug. but in the first week, it still felt like orientation. there was lotsa things going on in hall and in school. bash, mahjong sessions, makans, OG gatherings, NTU TKD etc. I haven't been playing basketball for a couple of weeks already. on the academic front, I've overloaded myself with 24 AU this semester. 5-day week and most days see me end at 5pm. for CCAs, I've been joining the TKD club for training on both tuesdays. but I injured myself on both occasions. I'm joining ODAC too. but I'm still not sure how much commitment I'm going to put into each of these. I really want to strive for a first class honours and I'm having some difficulty with studies, esp math.

for my tuition kids, I'm sorry I haven't been able to give you much time. but I assure you things will get better in the weeks ahead =)

I'll stop here for now. piles of work stacking up

on scholarships and tuition grants

it was only 3 years ago that I started looking at scholarships and university programmes. at times, I resent the fact that some of these prestigious scholarships go to those whose families are well-to-do and more than able to afford an overseas education for their child.

the essence of a scholarship is to provide education for those who cannot afford it. only then will the bonds work out for the organization. not only does it help to create more overseas or local graduates, thus increasing the standard of education on a national/social level, it also helps the organization to retain the talents they have so heavily invested in.

in recent years, many scholarship holders break their 4/6 years bonds. in most cases, these are the people whose family could afford their overseas education, shown by their financial capability to break the expensive bonds, even without the scholarship. so in this case, you actually have one less graduate (local and overseas) and the company does not get any good brain to work for them (this is if the bond-breaking payout is equal to the amount invested in the scholar's education). if the scholarships were reserved for those whose families are not well off, then this scholarship would have served it's purpose well. first it has provided the desired education which the student could not have had without the scholarship and, since breaking bond would prove too expensive for the young lad, the organization would have got a talented young man spending the prime of his life for them, making their investment more than worth it.

but now the question is, how do you qualify those who are "poor enough" for a scholarship?

3 more weeks!

3 more weeks to school. however, I don't feel that excited or anxious as I thought I would be. it's just "yar...school's here.yup.gotta start studying."

the past week's been pretty good so far. uncle Meng flew all the way from Montreal to see grandma and now he's at the airport catching the flight back. met up with couple of friends whom I have not seen for years. it's nice to catch up with old friends =) some times, all these activities sets you thinking about your relationship with the people around you, wondering how things would be like down the years. you'll see how your friends have changed and grown and how, relatively, stagnant you have been. this particular dialogue triggered some thoughts -
CY,"...things are falling into place..."
XJ,"you should be PUTTING them into place..."
see how passive and non-chalant I have been about my life? all the "let it be" and the "things will happen naturally" suddenly seem so WRONG

made some new friends this week at the F.O.O.T. briefing. interesting people. there are quite a number of poly-grads going directly into 2nd year. I think this is a really smart plan for those who are sure of what they want to do. but too bad I just wanted to get to uni first and took the JC route. the camp should be fun judging by the zesty atmosphere at the briefing. but if we're gonna shout like that for the entire camp, I'll go deaf by the 2nd day. but I hope this is for the orientation only. cuz if that's the culture in NTU, I'll have a hard time trying to focus on my studies.

I've made my way back to the regime again. I think JE sports complex really provide a good avenue to exercise. I shall head there on 1/3/5 for swim and gym and run 5km on 2/4. I'm typing this out so I'll stick to it and not laze off. haha

run run run

i stopped running AGAIN!

the schedule is a mess and I'm not liking it at all. I don't like it when I have no idea what's coming next. I don't like it when I am not given an option. I don't like it when I have no free time to slack or relac-one-corner. so much unknown, so much wait-for-news, so much I'll-tell-you-later...yuck

it's like a wake-up call when your mind is questioning "what's important to you?" it's like someone holding your face so you have to look at all your deeds and sins no matter how hard to try to turn away. it's like asking yourself all the could-have-been and should-have-been. this is such a waste of time. let's look ahead instead.

okay. I have no idea what I just typed...

anyway, I finally got my pink IC today after a HALF-DAY (!!!) ceremony at Singapore Poly. coincidentally, I was wearing the same shirt as the guest-of-honour, MP Mr Arthur Fong. there were about 250 to 300 ppl, from West Coast GRC alone, getting their Singapore citizenship there today. can you imagine how many ppl are obtaining Singapore citizenship every year? and I wonder if I really look like an accountant with my specs or sound like I'll from China 'cause I can speak Chinese without all the lah-leh-lohs...

July is gonna be a busy month. may be flying to Shanghai, Beijing and Xiamen with my folks for a week or so. it'll then be followed by the NTU ODAC camp from 14th to 19th. Gryphon's cup on 2 consec weekends and there may be a camp for the CN Yang programme from 21st to 23rd. and orientation week starts on the 28th.

gotta stay in hall 3 or 16 'cause of the scholarship. I hope I can have the option not to but I'm still waiting for Eugene's reply. when I check the CN Yang Programme website earlier, there were no stated requirement to stay in the hall, unlike the Nanyang Scholarship. when I meet up with the CN Yang programme seniors, the first thing the senior mentioned was "now, y'all are also Nanyang scholars". if you put all these together, it's not hard to tell that they want to include CN Yang scholars into the same pool as Nanyang scholars. I wonder how that would benefit the CN Yang programme...hmmm. but staying in hall should be fun (away from parents!) and if I ever miss home, it's just 30 minutes away.

okay. I'll start running tomorrow morning!

sprained ankleS

how do you sprain both ankles in a day, within a span of 15 min? ask me. my shots haven't been dropping lately and that's very frustrating. no touch, lousy stroke, bad choices. that's not the kind of game any player would want but we would all go through this kind of phase, esp shooters. not saying that I'm a natural shot but I think it's decent enough. looks like I need more shooting practice and drills

the driving test was quite nerve-wrecking. up-slope was shit but I passed. so basically, I can say I have met all the goals I've set for the holiday - driving license and Singapore citizenship and on top of that, a really nice bonus, a scholarship from NTU. I should get back to my Spanish before school starts. and next up, Gryphon cup.

KAN JIONG

i'm up 4 in the morning cuz i cant sleep. counting sheeps didnt help, neither did chanting "i wanna sleep" in chinese. too much worries and anxiety for the test later. seriously, it's just a TP test. i cant believe that i'm that screwed up. sleepless over driving test?! and not for A'lvl? what the hell...i think i'll fall asleep while driving...pls pls pls...go to sleep chor yen...