i wonder

i wonder...
if you knew how I felt when you broke the news to me
if you felt my pretence when you asked me those questions that pierce right through my heart but I answered them cheerfully anyway
if you knew the words that are dying to come out of my mouth
if you noticed I always hold them back and end up weeping inside
if you ever wondered what I wonder

what it'd have been if...
I were a little braver
I were a little more daring
I had said those words to you

i wonder...
if these words would go to the intended audience
if the intended audience could understand what's been written

or just take this as a chunk of jibberish from a warped mind